To the TEAM TESTOSTERONE Headquarters!
Roithinger/Malotte for UnCommander, STARFLEET!
Other slates normally would just give you their platform, but that's kiddy stuff. We here at Team Testosterone would rather do cool and manly stuff -- like kick ass and chew bubblegum! Hell F*** Yeah! And we're fresh out of Bubble Gum!
If you want to be a wuss, go read our statement. Or go hang with the girls, where you belong. Pussy. If you really think you got what it takes to be one of the few, the proud and the most god damn excellent leaders that STARFLEET has ever seen, then just take the test and you'll know for sure.
But if you are a real man, just like the rest of us, you'll stick around and see why Team Testosterone is the only way to vote. Don't believe us? Well, screw you, buddy! We got proof. We got pictures.
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Kurt
Franz Roithinger Commander, STARFLEET Our Leader. One look and you'll know why. He runs a chapter, a region and does other things too. Can you say the same? |
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Mike
Malotte Vice Commander, STARFLEET (Mike is on the left. The other guy is his Chief of Staff) He runs a chapter and a region and a buttload of other crap as well. He also likes purple, but we forgive him. |
"The Gang"
Clockwise: Les Rickard (Ops), Les' chief lackey Matt Myers, Tom Restivo (Academy), JC Cohen (we met him while he was taking a leak on a picture of Ted Turner. We thought that was kind of cool and so we posed with him), Alex Rosenzweig (ShoC) and Greg Trotter (Comp Ops). |
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and
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Allyson Dyar Chief of Communications Yeah, I know. She's a Girl. We know. But she is fixed, so we figured that was close enough for government work. That and the Boss really likes her. It's not like we say "No" to him. We're not that f***ing crazy. Did you see what he looks like? |
Team Testosterone knows what the Ladies like!
Sure we do. More pictures of those red-hot studs on our slate! And we're more then happy to oblige you!
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"Les" Always on duty with the Love Patrol. |
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"Tom" You haven't seen a real man until you've seen this Little Guy. |
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"Alex" Engineer of Loooove |
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"Greg" Data Wrangler of your Heart |
Team Testosterone knows what the Guys like!
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More pictures of Allyson, of course. Unfortunately the Boss wouldn't let us put any more up, saying something like "She's too good for you mugs!". So you guys just gotta settle for dreaming about those sensual curves, those soft brown eyes, that velvet-like skin...GRRROOOOWWWWWLLL!!!..... Scott Akers, pictured left, who is the Boss' Chief of Staff, just informed us that the master does not approve of this tone. Better go now before the Boss gets upset....You really don't want to get him upset...honest...Put the sword down, Scott, please... |
Links
We don't need no stinking links. We got all the greatest stuff on earth right here! But if you seriously feel the need to shop around for a better slate, then you are just plain Un-American. So why not just press the panic button and see where you ought to go. You two deserve each other!
Oh yeah, here is a link to STARFLEET. The group we wanna run. But you better have known that already.
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The Boss after some mook suggested a few more
changes to the Constitution. Bad Mistake. |
That's it. Really. You can leave now. Your life will never get any better then this. You've been to the Team Testosterone website. Tell your grandkids about it.
